Divorce • Devotion 1

Stone Heart
Josh Thayer

“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” Matthew 5:31-32  

You started at the altar, staring into each other’s eyes with overwhelming feelings of love and excitement about this new adventure you are going to take together. A whole new life is about to begin after you say the words, “I do.” Then you find yourself in an office with some people in suits and you are signing the divorce papers. What went wrong in the middle of this story?

Divorce can be a tricky situation. There are a lot of variables to dig through. Is he at fault or is she? For the sake of simplicity, I want to look at one variable that I believe is the same throughout all divorces and it starts with the heart. This will not be answering the question of whether divorce is right or wrong but will stumble upon how we get to that point where divorce is on the table.

As we know throughout Scripture, we can find multiple references to the heart and how it cannot be trusted. The heart is deceitful and nothing good can come from listening to your heart. Mark 7:21-22 says, “For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness.” Jeremiah 17:9 adds, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”

I believe it is your heart that will lead you to this place. You look at other couples around you in real life and on social media and you are like, “Why can’t I be happy like them?” You start thinking, “Well if I was with her, I know I would be happier.” You might think, “If he was my husband, he would probably listen to me and make me feel loved.” Every time we ask one of these questions it separates us from our spouse and our heart begins to change. It is not physical, but we start to feel numb emotionally until we almost feel nothing at all. The further away we get, the harder our heart becomes and the thought of divorce starts to look like the only possibility for happiness.

I am here to tell you that it is not the only possibility for your happiness. Those feelings you had for your spouse are still there. They have just been masked with the stone heart. They have been covered up by questioning what you already have. They have been covered up by real hurt and pain that could be in your marriage that has not been resolved.

Devotions cannot always give you a feel-good ending or the answer to all your problems, but I believe there is hope and only Jesus can help you through everything you are going through. He can make your stone heart soft again and show you what has been in front of you the whole time. It is obviously not easy, and it is not a three-step process, but it will be worth it in the end. Find your happiness in Jesus and let Him begin to chip away at your stone heart one day at a time. If you are really struggling, I would encourage you to reach out to a Pastor or a godly couple you can trust to walk with you during this difficult time.

Psalm 37:3-5 says, “Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.”