Lesson Four • Delights
Pastor Josh Combs
Admittedly, the music on my iPhone is pretty eclectic. It is a weird combination of 90’s Christian music, movie and Broadway soundtracks, Disneyworld music, rock music we have played in prisons, and songs I listen to when I exercise. Fun fact: Pastor Jayson (author of the previous study guide) and I both love cheesy 70’s and 80’s love songs. When we ride together to lunch, you might see us weirdly sitting at a stoplight jamming to some really corny music. I know, it is weird. On my phone, I also have “Barry White’s All-time Greatest Hits.” Honestly, I cannot remember why I downloaded the entire album, but I did. At times I will make my kids squirm by playing “Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe” or some other ridiculous song super loud in the kitchen. It never fails to embarrass them and I love every minute of it. This album from the late 1970s and the Song of Solomon both have themes of love, desire, romance, and sex. Frankly, both can, at times, make me blush.
As we approach the Song of Solomon or the Song of Songs, it is important to remember that what we are reading is a song. Solomon was a prolific writer. According to 1 Kings 4:32, “He also spoke 3,000 proverbs, and his songs were 1,005.” Some commentators see the Song as the best of those songs written by King Solomon. We might make the mistake of reading the Song as just poetry on the page, but it was a song to be sung. Imagine printing the lyrics to your favorite song and just reading them, without any rhythm or melody. It would be flat and boring. It would be humorous if you knew the way the lyrics were structured to rhyme or flow, where rhythm changed, and the melody came through. Song of Solomon (or the Song) is a love song.
1. What is your favorite love song?
Over the last 2000 years of Christian history, the Song of Songs has been the subject of countless commentaries, sermons, and interpretations. Early in Christian history, the church, sadly, was shaped by the dualism of Gnosticism and Plato’s philosophy that anything earthly was evil and spiritual things were good. Basically, the body and spirit were divided, one being evil and the other good. This split caused the church to, in many different ways, demonize sex. By the early 300s, the church, according to commentator Douglas O’Donnell, viewed celibacy as the highest form of spirituality and even looked down on sex within marriage. On a side note, I wonder how those critics thought they got here. Anyway, this demonizing of sex caused the church to interpret the Song as allegorical (God and Israel or Christ and the Church), political, and in other bizarre ways. Essentially the Song was allowed to be interpreted anyway except sexual. A biblical dilemma arises if you remove the Song from the Bible or as Tremper Longman warns, “desex” the Song. We are left with very small amounts of verses in Scripture praising sex within marriage and massive amounts of verses warning against the dangers of sex (fornication, adultery, and homosexuality).
2. In your own experience with the church and Christians, have you seen sex demonized? If so, how?
A key to combating a poor interpretive approach to the Song is a return to Genesis, specifically the Garden of Eden. Read Genesis 2:15-25. There we find Adam and Eve married, naked, and not ashamed (Genesis 2:25). What is even more foreign to our broken minds, is that God conducts the wedding with a naked bride and groom, and God is not embarrassed, ashamed, or blushing. God is the creator and designer of marital intimacy. God created sex and said it was good. As a matter of fact, “God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good” (Genesis 1:31). I would wholeheartedly agree.
Within the Song of Solomon, we see many beautiful parallels with Genesis chapter 2 and the perfect world Adam and Eve lived in prior to the fall. In my opinion, the Song is the return to the Garden of Eden that a Christ-centered marriage delivers. As one of my friends put it one time, rather than being Hedonistic about sexual pleasure, this is an Edenistic view of pleasures that God has created. That is the unique purpose of the Song of Songs within the books of the Bible (the Canon). It is God’s way of praising “the way of a man with a virgin” (Proverbs 30:19). It is a married couple returning to the true intimacy of Eden with God joyously present.
There are four important themes of delight in erotic poetry of the Song of Solomon.
Love
Some authors see in the poetry of the song a story, while others reject the narrative approach and see the book as a collection of ancient love songs. Regardless of where you land, love is a major theme in the book.
Okay, time for a quick contest. Take out a blank sheet of paper. Set a timer for three minutes and list a number of songs with the word “love” in them. After the time expires, read each of your lists out loud. The point should be really clear that there are lots and lots and lots of songs about love! However, “What is love?” (Also a song title.) Love, trust, friendship, and passion are all intertwined, not separate in this beautiful song.
3. Song of Solomon 8:5-7 attempts to describe love. List some of the descriptions.
“To be loved, to be loved, what a feeling to be loved.” It is not to be lusted after but loved. In the Song, this couple expresses their love in words, actions, names (“my love”), feelings, and longings.
4. How would you describe love?
5. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. How does the Apostle Paul describe love?
Three times in the Song of Solomon, the writer warns against awakening love before it is time because it is a powerful force. (Cue Huey Lewis singing, “The Power of Love.”) See Song of Solomon 2:7; 3:5; and 8:4. The point the author is making is to keep love locked down until the proper time because once it has been stirred up, there is really no putting it back away. Conversely, when it is time, stir up and awaken love all you want. It is wonderful and one of God’s gifts to a married man and woman. O’Connell writes, “Patience now, passion later.”
Desire
Most books of the Bible seem to have a target audience. It is not that the book is exclusive to that particular group, but it is important that somebody outside of the target audience recognize who the book is primarily written for. This helps avoid miscommunications that we call misinterpretations. Within Wisdom literature, Proverbs seems to be targeting boys with the repeated refrain, “My Son,” while the Song of Solomon seems written to girls of or near marrying age with the repeat, “Daughters of Jerusalem.”
When we first meet the female character of the book, sometimes called Shulamite (6:13), she seems insecure and uncertain of her beauty. As the book progresses from one sexual encounter to another with her husband, her confidence grows. Her desire for him grows congruent with his expressed desire for her. She feels safe and confident.
Read her description of herself. (Song of Solomon 1:5-6)
Read his description of her. (Song of Solomon 4:1-5; 7:1-9)
Read her description of him. (Song of Solomon 5:10-16)
6. Why are words of praise and desire to your spouse important?
7. What often happens when words of praise and desire are absent?
Availability
I asked my wife to look over this lesson as I was writing it. I had only completed the introduction and had my four points typed out. She scrolled down and came to this section. She said, “This is the do it when you want to and when you don’t want to” part of the lesson. She is not very wordy, but she knows how to make a clear point. Like desire, availability comes from stability and reliability. Faithfulness and being truly present lead to greater sexual availability of your spouse. In chapter 5, the couple at the center of this incredibly romantic song seems to have a miscommunication which leads to some unmet expectations. There is some debate whether 5:2-7 is a true narrative or a nightmare. I do not really feel the need to make an interpretive decision either way, because the book is a song or a poem. Either way, dream or “reality,” there was trouble in paradise. Read Song of Solomon 5:2-7. It seems that the man expected intimacy, while the woman was annoyed he came home so late. She warms up, but by that point, he has given up.
8. In your marriage, have you had sexual miscommunications?
9. In your marriage, have you had sexual unmet expectations?
10. Have you or how did you address these miscommunications and unmet expectations?
Sexual availability is also about ownership. That may seem like a heavy term and even out of place, but read on, I will try to clarify.
She says…
“My beloved is mine, and I am his.” (Song of Solomon 2:16)
“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” (Song of Solomon 6:3)
“I am my beloved’s and his desire is for me.” (Song of Solomon 7:10)
She is clearly saying, “He belongs to me and I belong to him.” These passages are a precursor to 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 where Paul writes, “For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another.” Earlier Paul wrote, “You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). If you know Christ, the Lord has purchased you through His work on the cross. Then if you are married, He, in essence, gives the ownership of your body to your spouse.
11. How can you more sacrificially make yourself sexually available and more generally available to fulfill your spouse’s needs?
Satisfaction
The stunning, erotic poetry of the Song respectfully reveals this couple’s most intimate moments. It is not graphic for the sake of shocking its readers, but it is naked and not ashamed. The echoes of Eden are evident in the theme of a luscious garden, vineyards, and orchards woven through the song. The symbols of creation are liberally used. Horses, flocks, gazelles, and mountains (that cannot be found on maps) are all used to illustrate this couple’s passion and satisfaction with each other. The most erotic and Edenistic, in my mind, is the garden metaphor.
He says, “A garden locked is my sister, my bride, a spring locked, a fountain sealed.” (Song of Solomon 4:12)
He says, “Awake, O north wind, and come, O south wind! Blow upon my garden, let its spices flow.” (Song of Solomon 4:16)
She responds, “Let my beloved come to his garden, and eat its choicest fruits.” (Song of Solomon 4:16)
He responds to her, “I came to my garden, my sister, my bride.” (Song of Solomon 5:1)
(This sequence reminds me of an incredible duet. Think of Marvin Gaye and Tammy Terrell, “Ain’t no Mountain High Enough.”)
“My beloved has gone down to his garden to the beds of spices, to graze in the gardens.” (Song of Solomon 6:2)
He likens her to a garden and not just any garden, but “my garden” and she refers to herself and her body as “his garden.” Gardens take a lot of dedication and work. The lovers of the Song lavish on each other acts of love that are exclusive! This exclusivity has led to immense pleasure and satisfaction. It is what Daniel Akin calls a “sexual symphony.” What we mean by exclusivity is the now old fashion idea of monogamy. We are talking about fidelity, commitment, and marriage.
God’s plan of “they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24) is meant for greater pleasure, not less.
12. How does exclusivity lead to greater satisfaction?
Conclusion – Longing
Without any hesitation, the Song of Songs is a celebration of human love, wonderfully expressed within the context of biblical marriage. As we saw in lesson 1, marriage has a deeper meaning. The love of a man and woman and vis versa is a preview pointing us to the main attraction. This does not empty marriage of meaning, rather it gives it its full expression. Paul writes in Ephesians chapter 5, that the mystery of a man and woman becoming one “is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:32). Do not abandon the foundational fact that the Song of Solomon celebrates God’s good creation of sex, but take some of the themes and see their full expression in Christ.
13. Read John 15:13. How did Jesus describe love?
14. How did He show love?
Sex is a God-given preview of the ultimate satisfaction we will have when we see the Lord face to face. John Piper said, “God is most glorified when you are most satisfied in Him.” Read Psalm 16:11.
15. Are you satisfied with Christ?
Eugene Peterson in the Message, paraphrases Song of Solomon 3:1, writing, “Restless in bed and sleepless through the night, I longed for my lover, I wanted him desperately. His absence was painful.” On the surface, the woman of Solomon’s greatest Song was lonely and longing for her love. If we see this portion of the Song illustrating longing (which there are lots of love songs that are really longing songs), we recognize that as humans we have deep longings in our souls. We long for meaning, purpose, fulfillment, truth, friendship, love, and satisfaction. That emotion of longing is God-given. It is built into the fabric of who we are. God hardwired us to long for Him, because He and He alone ultimately satisfies. Saint Augustine wrote, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You.”
One day, our “wedding” day will come. The groom, Christ, will return to take His bride to the home that He has been preparing (John 14) and we will be forever with the Lord. Revelation talks about the great Marriage supper of the Lamb, a grand and eternal wedding reception. If you have been to some of the receptions I have been to that might sound like the opposite of Heaven, but this will not be endless waiting, bad food, or awkward conversation. This will be the culmination of all we have been longing for. It will be “pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11).
Sources
“The Song of Solomon: An Invitation to Intimacy” by Douglas Sean O’Donnell from the “Preaching the Word Series.”
“NICOT,” “Song of Songs” by Tremper Longman III.
“Christ Centered Exposition Exalting Jesus” in Song of Songs, by Daniel Akin.
As we approach the Song of Solomon or the Song of Songs, it is important to remember that what we are reading is a song. Solomon was a prolific writer. According to 1 Kings 4:32, “He also spoke 3,000 proverbs, and his songs were 1,005.” Some commentators see the Song as the best of those songs written by King Solomon. We might make the mistake of reading the Song as just poetry on the page, but it was a song to be sung. Imagine printing the lyrics to your favorite song and just reading them, without any rhythm or melody. It would be flat and boring. It would be humorous if you knew the way the lyrics were structured to rhyme or flow, where rhythm changed, and the melody came through. Song of Solomon (or the Song) is a love song.
1. What is your favorite love song?
Over the last 2000 years of Christian history, the Song of Songs has been the subject of countless commentaries, sermons, and interpretations. Early in Christian history, the church, sadly, was shaped by the dualism of Gnosticism and Plato’s philosophy that anything earthly was evil and spiritual things were good. Basically, the body and spirit were divided, one being evil and the other good. This split caused the church to, in many different ways, demonize sex. By the early 300s, the church, according to commentator Douglas O’Donnell, viewed celibacy as the highest form of spirituality and even looked down on sex within marriage. On a side note, I wonder how those critics thought they got here. Anyway, this demonizing of sex caused the church to interpret the Song as allegorical (God and Israel or Christ and the Church), political, and in other bizarre ways. Essentially the Song was allowed to be interpreted anyway except sexual. A biblical dilemma arises if you remove the Song from the Bible or as Tremper Longman warns, “desex” the Song. We are left with very small amounts of verses in Scripture praising sex within marriage and massive amounts of verses warning against the dangers of sex (fornication, adultery, and homosexuality).
2. In your own experience with the church and Christians, have you seen sex demonized? If so, how?
A key to combating a poor interpretive approach to the Song is a return to Genesis, specifically the Garden of Eden. Read Genesis 2:15-25. There we find Adam and Eve married, naked, and not ashamed (Genesis 2:25). What is even more foreign to our broken minds, is that God conducts the wedding with a naked bride and groom, and God is not embarrassed, ashamed, or blushing. God is the creator and designer of marital intimacy. God created sex and said it was good. As a matter of fact, “God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good” (Genesis 1:31). I would wholeheartedly agree.
Within the Song of Solomon, we see many beautiful parallels with Genesis chapter 2 and the perfect world Adam and Eve lived in prior to the fall. In my opinion, the Song is the return to the Garden of Eden that a Christ-centered marriage delivers. As one of my friends put it one time, rather than being Hedonistic about sexual pleasure, this is an Edenistic view of pleasures that God has created. That is the unique purpose of the Song of Songs within the books of the Bible (the Canon). It is God’s way of praising “the way of a man with a virgin” (Proverbs 30:19). It is a married couple returning to the true intimacy of Eden with God joyously present.
There are four important themes of delight in erotic poetry of the Song of Solomon.
Love
Some authors see in the poetry of the song a story, while others reject the narrative approach and see the book as a collection of ancient love songs. Regardless of where you land, love is a major theme in the book.
Okay, time for a quick contest. Take out a blank sheet of paper. Set a timer for three minutes and list a number of songs with the word “love” in them. After the time expires, read each of your lists out loud. The point should be really clear that there are lots and lots and lots of songs about love! However, “What is love?” (Also a song title.) Love, trust, friendship, and passion are all intertwined, not separate in this beautiful song.
3. Song of Solomon 8:5-7 attempts to describe love. List some of the descriptions.
“To be loved, to be loved, what a feeling to be loved.” It is not to be lusted after but loved. In the Song, this couple expresses their love in words, actions, names (“my love”), feelings, and longings.
4. How would you describe love?
5. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. How does the Apostle Paul describe love?
Three times in the Song of Solomon, the writer warns against awakening love before it is time because it is a powerful force. (Cue Huey Lewis singing, “The Power of Love.”) See Song of Solomon 2:7; 3:5; and 8:4. The point the author is making is to keep love locked down until the proper time because once it has been stirred up, there is really no putting it back away. Conversely, when it is time, stir up and awaken love all you want. It is wonderful and one of God’s gifts to a married man and woman. O’Connell writes, “Patience now, passion later.”
Desire
Most books of the Bible seem to have a target audience. It is not that the book is exclusive to that particular group, but it is important that somebody outside of the target audience recognize who the book is primarily written for. This helps avoid miscommunications that we call misinterpretations. Within Wisdom literature, Proverbs seems to be targeting boys with the repeated refrain, “My Son,” while the Song of Solomon seems written to girls of or near marrying age with the repeat, “Daughters of Jerusalem.”
When we first meet the female character of the book, sometimes called Shulamite (6:13), she seems insecure and uncertain of her beauty. As the book progresses from one sexual encounter to another with her husband, her confidence grows. Her desire for him grows congruent with his expressed desire for her. She feels safe and confident.
Read her description of herself. (Song of Solomon 1:5-6)
Read his description of her. (Song of Solomon 4:1-5; 7:1-9)
Read her description of him. (Song of Solomon 5:10-16)
6. Why are words of praise and desire to your spouse important?
7. What often happens when words of praise and desire are absent?
Availability
I asked my wife to look over this lesson as I was writing it. I had only completed the introduction and had my four points typed out. She scrolled down and came to this section. She said, “This is the do it when you want to and when you don’t want to” part of the lesson. She is not very wordy, but she knows how to make a clear point. Like desire, availability comes from stability and reliability. Faithfulness and being truly present lead to greater sexual availability of your spouse. In chapter 5, the couple at the center of this incredibly romantic song seems to have a miscommunication which leads to some unmet expectations. There is some debate whether 5:2-7 is a true narrative or a nightmare. I do not really feel the need to make an interpretive decision either way, because the book is a song or a poem. Either way, dream or “reality,” there was trouble in paradise. Read Song of Solomon 5:2-7. It seems that the man expected intimacy, while the woman was annoyed he came home so late. She warms up, but by that point, he has given up.
8. In your marriage, have you had sexual miscommunications?
9. In your marriage, have you had sexual unmet expectations?
10. Have you or how did you address these miscommunications and unmet expectations?
Sexual availability is also about ownership. That may seem like a heavy term and even out of place, but read on, I will try to clarify.
She says…
“My beloved is mine, and I am his.” (Song of Solomon 2:16)
“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” (Song of Solomon 6:3)
“I am my beloved’s and his desire is for me.” (Song of Solomon 7:10)
She is clearly saying, “He belongs to me and I belong to him.” These passages are a precursor to 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 where Paul writes, “For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another.” Earlier Paul wrote, “You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). If you know Christ, the Lord has purchased you through His work on the cross. Then if you are married, He, in essence, gives the ownership of your body to your spouse.
11. How can you more sacrificially make yourself sexually available and more generally available to fulfill your spouse’s needs?
Satisfaction
The stunning, erotic poetry of the Song respectfully reveals this couple’s most intimate moments. It is not graphic for the sake of shocking its readers, but it is naked and not ashamed. The echoes of Eden are evident in the theme of a luscious garden, vineyards, and orchards woven through the song. The symbols of creation are liberally used. Horses, flocks, gazelles, and mountains (that cannot be found on maps) are all used to illustrate this couple’s passion and satisfaction with each other. The most erotic and Edenistic, in my mind, is the garden metaphor.
He says, “A garden locked is my sister, my bride, a spring locked, a fountain sealed.” (Song of Solomon 4:12)
He says, “Awake, O north wind, and come, O south wind! Blow upon my garden, let its spices flow.” (Song of Solomon 4:16)
She responds, “Let my beloved come to his garden, and eat its choicest fruits.” (Song of Solomon 4:16)
He responds to her, “I came to my garden, my sister, my bride.” (Song of Solomon 5:1)
(This sequence reminds me of an incredible duet. Think of Marvin Gaye and Tammy Terrell, “Ain’t no Mountain High Enough.”)
“My beloved has gone down to his garden to the beds of spices, to graze in the gardens.” (Song of Solomon 6:2)
He likens her to a garden and not just any garden, but “my garden” and she refers to herself and her body as “his garden.” Gardens take a lot of dedication and work. The lovers of the Song lavish on each other acts of love that are exclusive! This exclusivity has led to immense pleasure and satisfaction. It is what Daniel Akin calls a “sexual symphony.” What we mean by exclusivity is the now old fashion idea of monogamy. We are talking about fidelity, commitment, and marriage.
God’s plan of “they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24) is meant for greater pleasure, not less.
12. How does exclusivity lead to greater satisfaction?
Conclusion – Longing
Without any hesitation, the Song of Songs is a celebration of human love, wonderfully expressed within the context of biblical marriage. As we saw in lesson 1, marriage has a deeper meaning. The love of a man and woman and vis versa is a preview pointing us to the main attraction. This does not empty marriage of meaning, rather it gives it its full expression. Paul writes in Ephesians chapter 5, that the mystery of a man and woman becoming one “is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:32). Do not abandon the foundational fact that the Song of Solomon celebrates God’s good creation of sex, but take some of the themes and see their full expression in Christ.
13. Read John 15:13. How did Jesus describe love?
14. How did He show love?
Sex is a God-given preview of the ultimate satisfaction we will have when we see the Lord face to face. John Piper said, “God is most glorified when you are most satisfied in Him.” Read Psalm 16:11.
15. Are you satisfied with Christ?
Eugene Peterson in the Message, paraphrases Song of Solomon 3:1, writing, “Restless in bed and sleepless through the night, I longed for my lover, I wanted him desperately. His absence was painful.” On the surface, the woman of Solomon’s greatest Song was lonely and longing for her love. If we see this portion of the Song illustrating longing (which there are lots of love songs that are really longing songs), we recognize that as humans we have deep longings in our souls. We long for meaning, purpose, fulfillment, truth, friendship, love, and satisfaction. That emotion of longing is God-given. It is built into the fabric of who we are. God hardwired us to long for Him, because He and He alone ultimately satisfies. Saint Augustine wrote, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You.”
One day, our “wedding” day will come. The groom, Christ, will return to take His bride to the home that He has been preparing (John 14) and we will be forever with the Lord. Revelation talks about the great Marriage supper of the Lamb, a grand and eternal wedding reception. If you have been to some of the receptions I have been to that might sound like the opposite of Heaven, but this will not be endless waiting, bad food, or awkward conversation. This will be the culmination of all we have been longing for. It will be “pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11).
Sources
“The Song of Solomon: An Invitation to Intimacy” by Douglas Sean O’Donnell from the “Preaching the Word Series.”
“NICOT,” “Song of Songs” by Tremper Longman III.
“Christ Centered Exposition Exalting Jesus” in Song of Songs, by Daniel Akin.