Sermon on the Mount

Teachings from Matthew 5

Lesson Six • Divorce

Pastor Ryan Story

There are hard topics in the Bible that most people do not want to discuss. Today is one of those lessons. The difficulty of this lesson is that I have no idea where anyone is at within the scope of the topic of divorce. Some may have had a divorce, some people have parents who were divorced (full disclosure, my parents had a nasty divorce), and some know friends or family who have gone through a divorce. Some people have gotten a divorce and never seen their ex again. Some have navigated through their difficulties and have been able to co-parent their children and possibly even remarried each other. There are people reading this who look at divorce as the ultimate of scarlet letter social sins, and others who may deem it as “not that bad depending on the situation.”

1. Why is divorce such a difficult topic to discuss within the church?

I am weirdly into data because data is black and white. Looking up divorce data while writing this lesson was fascinating and a bit of a bummer all at once. From what I can gather, there are two cultural phenomena happening. First, fewer people are getting divorced from 20 years ago. Secondly, fewer people are getting married. I am not the type of person to wish for the “good old years of family values” to return, because I believe euphoric recollection is a real thing. The family distinction has always been an issue since sin entered the world. Family dysfunction is alive and active in our society as well as inside the church.

2. Do you think divorce is more acceptable in our current society than 30 years ago? How about 50? How about 200 years?

This was a hard lesson to write about. I do not feel I have the vernacular to write a lesson that can “divorce-proof” a marriage. There are books on this topic and I am not looking for anyone’s Growth Community to share for hours upon hours. I can give insight. I can give Scripture.

3. What holds a marriage together?

I read once, “you are a sinner married to another sinner” (Paul David Tripp). Often times we look for solutions on how to keep our marriage together, and we seldom go back to the fact that the Gospel supersedes and saturates every aspect of our life. When Jesus says, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mark 10:9), He is not just saying that so it could conclude weddings with a nice saying. The truth our Lord spoke 2000 years ago points us to our need for the Gospel to hold all our relationships together, but especially inside the marriage.
‭‭‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus speaks gives two verses regarding divorce. Matthew 5:31-32 records, “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

4. Biblically, can a person get a divorce?

I feel this can quickly become a checklist verse. A checklist verse is going to a verse in the Bible, pulling it out of context to allow your interpretation to prevail, and then defending your point of view by saying, “You will see what Jesus says here is wrong.” I never want to come on strong and speak for the King of kings and Lord of lords, but if your take away from this verse was “if a person commits sexual immorality, divorce is permissible,” I think you are leaving a lot of biblical truth out of your view of Scripture.

Fun study: Read the book of Hosea in light of adultery within a marriage relationship. Hosea and Gomer show that even in the case of adultery in marriage forgiveness can still reign and the marriage is reconciled. Weird; that is the same as the Gospel of Jesus. Enjoy your study.

Reading the Bible in context helps. I believe to unpack the truth Jesus is getting at here, we need to know what He taught before these verses on divorce and the ones after. Last week we learned about all things concerning lust and adultery.

5. What was your major takeaway from last week’s Growth Community?

At the core of adultery are pride, self, ego, and selfishness. Adultery reigns in a heart that puts yourself first. Since looking at a person with lust is adultery, then daydreaming, fantasizing, and flirting would most likely fall into the same sin. Jesus’ teaching about lust is bringing us to the truth that just because there is no physical intimacy does not void that sin from ruling our hearts. The moment we start lusting after pleasures that are sexual, monetary, or positional is the moment an adulterous heart begins to bring separation in all relationships.

6. How is lust the first step towards divorce?

7. Inside a marriage, why is it so critical that both parties be mutually submitting to Jesus?

8. Why would Jesus teach about lust before He spoke on divorce?

Protecting your heart from lust may be step one to “divorce-proof” your marriage. I do think the topic after Jesus teaches on divorce is the truth we need to hold. Next week in Growth Community we will go more in-depth with this topic. The verse that comes after Jesus’ teachings on divorce is about oaths.

Matthew 5:37 says, “Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No;’ anything more than this comes from evil.”

‭‭If we truly believe in God’s sovereignty and we believe that God has a plan, then we must echo Jesus’ teaching and say, “What God has brought together let no man separate.” Why in the world do we not hold to the oath we took to our spouse on our wedding day? When a person gets married they are saying “yes” to them and a “yes” to God. Sadly, in Jesus’ time, people held about the same convictions as we do today in regards to divorce. Mishnah was the oral law of the Jews. This was not the Mosaic Law that God delivered to Moses. The Mishnah states that a man can divorce his wife if she literally burnt his food. ‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

9. Why would Jesus teach about the importance of oaths in light of teaching about divorce?

Divorce is a hard sin to talk about. There are journals, books, and seminars that are devoted to this topic. My hope today is less about us landing in whether or not divorce is okay. I would rather land on looking at Jesus’ teachings with fresh eyes. We need to understand that Jesus is teaching an entire lesson, not just two verses. Jesus is calling His followers to avoid lust in their hearts and to uphold their oaths and let their word be their word.

10. Why are those two teachings from Jesus the best way to “divorce-proof” your marriage?

Lesson Six • Divorce

Pastor Ryan Story

There are hard topics in the Bible that most people do not want to discuss. Today is one of those lessons. The difficulty of this lesson is that I have no idea where anyone is at within the scope of the topic of divorce. Some may have had a divorce, some people have parents who were divorced (full disclosure, my parents had a nasty divorce), and some know friends or family who have gone through a divorce. Some people have gotten a divorce and never seen their ex again. Some have navigated through their difficulties and have been able to co-parent their children and possibly even remarried each other. There are people reading this who look at divorce as the ultimate of scarlet letter social sins, and others who may deem it as “not that bad depending on the situation.”

1. Why is divorce such a difficult topic to discuss within the church?

I am weirdly into data because data is black and white. Looking up divorce data while writing this lesson was fascinating and a bit of a bummer all at once. From what I can gather, there are two cultural phenomena happening. First, fewer people are getting divorced from 20 years ago. Secondly, fewer people are getting married. I am not the type of person to wish for the “good old years of family values” to return, because I believe euphoric recollection is a real thing. The family distinction has always been an issue since sin entered the world. Family dysfunction is alive and active in our society as well as inside the church.

2. Do you think divorce is more acceptable in our current society than 30 years ago? How about 50? How about 200 years?

This was a hard lesson to write about. I do not feel I have the vernacular to write a lesson that can “divorce-proof” a marriage. There are books on this topic and I am not looking for anyone’s Growth Community to share for hours upon hours. I can give insight. I can give Scripture.

3. What holds a marriage together?

I read once, “you are a sinner married to another sinner” (Paul David Tripp). Often times we look for solutions on how to keep our marriage together, and we seldom go back to the fact that the Gospel supersedes and saturates every aspect of our life. When Jesus says, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mark 10:9), He is not just saying that so it could conclude weddings with a nice saying. The truth our Lord spoke 2000 years ago points us to our need for the Gospel to hold all our relationships together, but especially inside the marriage.
‭‭‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus speaks gives two verses regarding divorce. Matthew 5:31-32 records, “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

4. Biblically, can a person get a divorce?

I feel this can quickly become a checklist verse. A checklist verse is going to a verse in the Bible, pulling it out of context to allow your interpretation to prevail, and then defending your point of view by saying, “You will see what Jesus says here is wrong.” I never want to come on strong and speak for the King of kings and Lord of lords, but if your take away from this verse was “if a person commits sexual immorality, divorce is permissible,” I think you are leaving a lot of biblical truth out of your view of Scripture.

Fun study: Read the book of Hosea in light of adultery within a marriage relationship. Hosea and Gomer show that even in the case of adultery in marriage forgiveness can still reign and the marriage is reconciled. Weird; that is the same as the Gospel of Jesus. Enjoy your study.

Reading the Bible in context helps. I believe to unpack the truth Jesus is getting at here, we need to know what He taught before these verses on divorce and the ones after. Last week we learned about all things concerning lust and adultery.

5. What was your major takeaway from last week’s Growth Community?

At the core of adultery are pride, self, ego, and selfishness. Adultery reigns in a heart that puts yourself first. Since looking at a person with lust is adultery, then daydreaming, fantasizing, and flirting would most likely fall into the same sin. Jesus’ teaching about lust is bringing us to the truth that just because there is no physical intimacy does not void that sin from ruling our hearts. The moment we start lusting after pleasures that are sexual, monetary, or positional is the moment an adulterous heart begins to bring separation in all relationships.

6. How is lust the first step towards divorce?

7. Inside a marriage, why is it so critical that both parties be mutually submitting to Jesus?

8. Why would Jesus teach about lust before He spoke on divorce?

Protecting your heart from lust may be step one to “divorce-proof” your marriage. I do think the topic after Jesus teaches on divorce is the truth we need to hold. Next week in Growth Community we will go more in-depth with this topic. The verse that comes after Jesus’ teachings on divorce is about oaths.

Matthew 5:37 says, “Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No;’ anything more than this comes from evil.”

‭‭If we truly believe in God’s sovereignty and we believe that God has a plan, then we must echo Jesus’ teaching and say, “What God has brought together let no man separate.” Why in the world do we not hold to the oath we took to our spouse on our wedding day? When a person gets married they are saying “yes” to them and a “yes” to God. Sadly, in Jesus’ time, people held about the same convictions as we do today in regards to divorce. Mishnah was the oral law of the Jews. This was not the Mosaic Law that God delivered to Moses. The Mishnah states that a man can divorce his wife if she literally burnt his food. ‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

9. Why would Jesus teach about the importance of oaths in light of teaching about divorce?

Divorce is a hard sin to talk about. There are journals, books, and seminars that are devoted to this topic. My hope today is less about us landing in whether or not divorce is okay. I would rather land on looking at Jesus’ teachings with fresh eyes. We need to understand that Jesus is teaching an entire lesson, not just two verses. Jesus is calling His followers to avoid lust in their hearts and to uphold their oaths and let their word be their word.

10. Why are those two teachings from Jesus the best way to “divorce-proof” your marriage?